Lately, I’ve been thinking. Well… that’s obvious, we always think all the time. I watched only part of the special on the MLB Network Nine Innings from Ground Zero. I say I watched only part of it because I am not a girly girl. I do not ever wear make up unless I have to, I slouch, I wear hats instead of showering, and would be considered by most a dude trapped in a chick’s body (by the way, that doesn’t even cover half of my gross habits… probably more information than you needed to know, but whatever). This leads me to… the next thing. I don’t like to cry. I knew that I wasn’t going to make it through that special without breaking down and totally losing it, so I had to stop before the waterworks started up. The point is, it got me thinking about how precious life is… ya know, after I had to turn it off.
I was fortunate enough to not lose anyone during that incredibly tragic time. However, like every American, it affected me considerably. I can’t see the World Trade Center without something… some part of me… something feeling off. Not necessarily haunted by any means, but something within me gets… modified. Does that make any kind of sense? I don’t feel like me. I get chills and a tightness in my chest, it’s weird. Anyway, so my thought was how abruptly our lives can end and how lucky we are to wake up in the morning and take a breath. In my previous blog, I was kind of a cry baby about moving to Denver, which I shouldn’t have been. It should have been something that I was thankful for. The other day I took a long walk down the Sixteenth Street mall. I walked by Denver’s World Trade Center. It’s weird when I think about it now, like some kind of foreshadowing.
Anyway, I realized that life is short and precious. I’m young, and regardless of a person’s age, perhaps it’s important to “grab life by the horns.” As Americans, we spend practically every hour of every day working to make a living for ourselves and to be… well, richer. While I don’t deny that I have obligations to pay back… damn student loans, I believe I should stop worrying about it as much as I have been. I have a job interview on Friday, which is exciting, and while I could use the money, I should probably take a breather and get it through my thick skull that if I don’t get this job, it isn’t the end of the world.
So, while I was thinking about life and how precious it is, it got me thinking about baseball and my place in it. How in Nine Innings From Ground Zero the world turned to baseball to help alleviate the tragedy that was. How something, like a game, like an obsession, like a love can bring us together. I said in Tom’s article that I Live for This is a bold title. And while I still don’t dispute that, I believe that we all live for this, whatever this may be, and what’s more is that in this very moment, we all live. And we are all so lucky to be able to. So, as we continue living, may we all live for the moment, not the next moment, not the moment a week from now, but this moment, this very moment. So, as I continue to live, to breathe, I will recognize each moment as priceless and that the rare commodities that we have are also unparalleled. What’s more, is that I’ll know that two of the most important commodities to me are baseball and blogging about baseball and it’s because I live for it, I live for this.