There are certain things in this world that I would like to believe I’m good at: sleeping, complaining, Mario Kart Wii, making asian jokes, ya know, general types of things. Since moving down to Denver, I’ve been doing lots of complaining, lots of sleeping, lots of video games, and well… not so many asian jokes because I don’t have anyone to make them with. I live in a world where I have no confidence, where I question everything I do. If you ever say anything to me with enough confidence in your voice, I will take it as fact, that’s how unconfident I am in my abilities. I’ll never forget, this one time, my roommate asked me a question and I was like, “is the pope catholic?” And she was like, “no, he’s not Emily,” and I was like, “yes, he is Chang,” and she was like, “no he’s not,” and I was like, “dude, shut up, yes he is,” and she was like, “Emily, he is NOT catholic” and I was like, “… he’s… not….?” Anyway, oh my gosh, yes, say anything to me with enough confidence and I will believe it.
I am, by in large, the most gullible, clumsy, trips up the stairs, person I know.
But lately, life has started to change. Although I still sleep, complain, rock the video game world, and trip up the stairs, my life, my confidence has been changed by a movement. It’s slow, a slow process, one that has only begun to develop, but a process, none the less. Something that is progressing.
It started with guitar lessons. In the three years I’ve been playing, I had a total of three lessons, and those didn’t come until this past December, 2008. My teacher told me that he believed that you should always sing with your guitar, regardless of whether you could actually sing. On my second lesson, I went in, and played Superman by Five for Fighting for him, and yeah, with my awful voice, I sang for him. While I played, I couldn’t look at him, or I probably would have stopped singing because I would have been too embarassed. What happened next? Oh my god, he liked it. He thought I had a great voice, and he thought with a little perfection, I should go do an open mic.
This is the exact model of my guitar, I love him. ——–>
Let’s get one thing straight, I will never do an open mic. I am far too much of a pansy to even consider doing something like that. However, the fact that the option was posed to me, and that I had the capabilities to do it was exciting. It was a confidence booster, it was something that made me extremely excited and would ultimately boost my confidence.
The next part of my movement came from our very own MLBlogs. It came in the form of an e-mail from some fellow blogger named Tom. He asked if I would be interested in being apart of his series TImeout at the Plate. Ooh, I was honored, and eagerly answered his questions. From that, I received a comment from Jane, who suggested I expand my horizons I begin commenting on others blogs if I want to get mine out there.
So, I did. I started commenting on blogs that I actually read, and what came of it? On January 20th, I logged on to mlblogs.com, as usual. Normal day. The most amazing thing happened. I was right there on the same page as our President. Neat!!! Today, January 22nd, I logged on and read about the support group Tom had started, and noticed that Julia had made a comment that he was #17 in the top blogs. My thought was, “who in the mlblogging community is beating Tom?” So, I logged onto the infamous guru that is MLBlogosphere and looked at the top fifty. And what was there?! I was # 21. I was floored.
You wouldn’t think that something like blogging would be a confidence booster in any way, but somehow it is. It feels good to know that I’m in the top fifty, that what I’m writing is actually being not only read, but commented on by someone. When you think about it, it is kind of stupid. I mean, who would think that blogging could have such a profounding effect on someone’s life?
I did write a thank you to the people who inspired me, but I would also like to say thanks to everyone who stopped by and read what I had to say. It means a lot. Maybe I should celebrate with a drink.