“His Number is Divine.”

The other day I was looking through my profile pictures on Facebook. I came across one that I had posted on April 11th; it was Nick Adenhart.

Nick Adenhart.jpgMy heart felt heavy as I remembered watching the news on April 10th and learning of his death. Learning about his pitching, his 1-0 record, his 6.00 ERA, and his nine strikeouts.

For some reason, on this day, his death struck me with a surplus of grief. He was a few months younger than I was and he was living his dream.

I consider myself to be on a constant spiritual quest, while I don’t claim to be religious nor believe in a god, I contemplated the most pronounced features I knew about Adenhart.

adenhartsad.jpgHe wore number 34. Perhaps it’s a stretch, or merely coincidence, but the numbers three and four add up to seven. Being someone who once considered herself religious, I thought about the number seven and the context it had toward Adenhart, I stumbled across a website that explained it to me:

“When man began to analyze and combine numbers, he developed other interesting symbols. He took the perfect world number, four, and added it to the perfect divine number, three, and got seven, the most sacred number to the Hebrews. It was earth crowned with heaven – the four square earth plus the divine completeness of God. So we have seven expressing completeness through union of earth with heaven. This number is used more than all other numbers in the Word of God…

“The whole Word of God is founded upon the number seven. It stands for the seventh day of the creation week and speaks to the millennial rest day. It denotes completeness or perfection.”

I sat and wondered if Adenhart had thought of these things, he pitched for the Angels, his number when broken down, was considered divine. Maybe he had, maybe he hadn’t. Had he ever considered himself to be a mark of perfection? I don’t think that anyone ever considers themselves perfect, I don’t think anyone ever considers themselves divine, but had these ideas ever crossed his mind?

Nick-Adenhart-memorial.jpgI pondered the man who had taken Adenhart’s life away from him, away from the Angels, away from us. Had he thought about these things? Did he think about the lives he’d impact when he got into a car with a BAC higher than 0.19? Had he considered what he’d taken away when he plead “not guilty”?

angels-pitcher-nick-adenhart-killed-in-car-crash.jpg I don’t claim to have been friends with Adenhart or even have heard of him before his death; but somehow, it struck a note with me. On some level, I’d like to have the belief that Adenhart’s team and number are no coincidence, and somehow he really does represent that of an angel, maybe watching over his team; but the skeptic in me wants to dismiss it.

The key phrase is “wants to.” There was something very settling about looking at Nick’s picture that day, a calming presence that simultaneously moved me to tears. Like I said before, maybe it was coincidence, or maybe there’s something bigger. Either way, despite not knowing Adenheart, despite not hearing of him until his death, I can’t help but think of him often, linger on what might or might not be, and think that maybe, just maybe, he’s watching over me too. Maybe it wasn’t coincidence that I wrote this blog, maybe it wasn’t coincidence that his number was somehow broken down in my mind, maybe we all need an angel to believe in, maybe Nick is that Angel.

Nick Adenhart 0002.jpg

22 comments

  1. irishsoxkid19

    Wow, what an amazing post. It really is. I hope that Gallo gets punished for this act, and the families will always remember an dhonor their lost loved ones. I still can’t believe that a young pitcher, who had a lot to offer, is gone. Heck, I can’t believe a lot of things that affected my life happened. The wierd part about this was, my friend’s dad unexpectedly died a month before the accident that killed Nick. As my dad says, all bad things come in 3’s. I hope the 3rd was the Sox loosing the past series to the Yankees. Thank you for writing this.
    -Holly
    http://irishsoxkid19.mlblogs.com
    http://nickadenhartmemorial.mlblogs.com

  2. AJRoxMyWhiteSox

    This was such a wonderful post. I’ve never cried so much for a person I had never met and never heard of until the day he died. The Angels are always a good team, but they have someone special watching over them this season. And while I’d love my Sox to be the AL representative in the World Series, this year I won’t be hurt if it’s the Angels.
    Jen
    http://ajroxmywhitesox.mlblogs.com

  3. iliveforthis

    Cat- I can’t even fathom the survivor’s guilt that that person must feel. My heart really does go out to him.
    .
    Holly- Thank you. I also really hope that he gets what he deserves, it’s unbelievable to me that he plead not guilty.
    .
    Kylie- I don’t really know how it popped up into my mind to make that connection… might be another coincidence, I don’t know.
    .
    Jeff- I believe the Angels are devoting this season to Nick, and yeah, I like to think that he’s watching over them too.
    .
    Julia- I’m glad that you enjoyed it.
    .
    Jen- I wouldn’t have a problem if the Angels won the World Series this year, I would probably actually cry about it.

  4. Fenway Bleacher Creature

    This a really wonderful post and amazing writing too. I don’t think many people could give a tribute to someone they never knew about as well as you just did. Well done, thank you for adding some meaning to my day.

    -http://the3rs.mlblogs.com/

  5. crazy19canuck

    Everytime I hear about Nick, the same some pops into my mind: “Angels Amoung Us” It’s a beautiful song. Seeing how the LA team is dealing with the loss is amazing. They looking for all the good things, and they truly do have an Angel amoung them.
    Ginny
    http://watercooler.mlblogs.com

  6. mattpeas

    great tribute. it seems that many people have forgotten about nick as the season went on, im glad you refreshed our memories. nick deserves to be honored and should hold a special place in the hearts of all baseball fans. he was so young and had so much to live for-im sure a great career was a head of him

    http://pittpeas.mlblogs.com

  7. iliveforthis

    Fenway Bleacher Creature- I really appreciate that, I really do. I’m glad you enjoyed reading my entry, it was really an honor to write.
    .
    09Indians- While I was looking for pictures of Nick, I came across that, and felt it was really powerful.
    .
    Ginny- I’ll have to look up that song, I’m sure it’s good. I really do believe that if the Angels win the World Series this year, Nick will be a big part of that win.
    .
    Utleyeveryday- I’m glad I could inspire you to start writing, I appreciate that. The best advice I can give is to write from your heart, put thought into what you write. The person to ask about attracting people to your blog would be Julia. She’s probably the most well-known blogger.
    .
    Matthew- The hope is that he won’t be forgotten. It really is a tragic way for someone who was so young to go. Like I said, I hope Nick is watching over and helped inspire to write this.
    .
    Matt- You’re write, Nick does deserve to be remembered, and it does seem like people have kind of moved on from what happened earlier this season, and that’s not just Nick’s death, but everyone that we lost.
    .
    Emma- I hope that I made a good memory of Nick here, he really deserves to be remembered.

  8. iliveforthis

    Kaybee- I appreciate that coming from someone who is such a talented writer. Nick’s death, regardless of the reason, was incredibly tragic. I hope that we continue to remember him.

  9. raysrenegade

    Emily,
    The tragedy that struck the entire Angels family that night also shook the whole baseball world to the core.
    It is a horrible day when someone in baseball get hurt by a hit ball, or injured during a game. But the events that happen before and after games, during a player or a team’s personal time remind all of us that life is so fragile.
    The unfortunate thing about that tragedy that night is that this guy was ever on the road at all, but the reality is that somewhere in this country another incident just like this might have also took 3 lives.
    It was a beautiful post with a moving collection of photos and remembrances to his memory.
    It hurts every time we lose a member of the extended baseball family, but it pains me more when a young guy is taken just as he was opening all our eyes to his glory on the field.

    Rays Renegade

    http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

  10. irishsoxkid19

    Emily- Great post. Somehow, I too feel a connection to Adenhart because he grew up in Maryland, where my aunt and uncle live now and also because we are kinda close in age. Many people in this situation can think why? what if it was me? This should not have happened ect, but sadly it did and Nick’s memory will live on forever. RIP #34. Gone too soon, never forgotten.

  11. irishsoxkid19

    Emily- Great post. Somehow, I too feel a connection to Adenhart because he grew up in Maryland, where my aunt and uncle live now and also because we are kinda close in age. Many people in this situation can think why? what if it was me? This should not have happened ect, but sadly it did and Nick’s memory will live on forever. RIP #34. Gone too soon, never forgotten.
    -Holly
    http://irishsoxkid19.mlblogs.com

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